2AM I Did Wrong, Prologue.

Hearing it, I feel like this is the Prologue to the rest of my life. Sometimes so empty, sometimes so lost, sometimes so filled. Sometimes regret, sometimes hope, sometimes looking forward, sometimes looking back. Where am I going? What do I want to do?

Had a great time on Saturday, going for the 2AM showcase. It was awesome to see 2AM in Singapore. I would never have thought they would come here, not so soon anyway. I wish I had more opportunities to interact with them, especially Kwon. I wish I could lose the part of myself that always holds back, so I can go all out. I want to kkap in front of others too. I imagined myself kkap-ing on stage. I imagined myself saying more things to them.

But then, of course, I also imagined myself doing well for that FYP. I imagined myself driving an R8. I imagined myself driving at all. *sigh* I guess I can’t put down the fact that it’s over. I want to do it all over again. There are a lot of things I want to do all over again.

If we can’t change the past, we must mold the future. ZM has a blog post about the brick wall.

Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep
us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want
something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want
it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people.

I feel like I haven’t really wanted anything badly enough to climb over the walls for them. What did I really want to be doing again?

Is it over? But then, I really wish it wasn’t.

Listening to one of the game’s background tracks right now, and it is making me feel even more moody.

I’m really disappointed with myself. Would things have turned out better if we picked up the pace earlier? Would we have been able to solve everything?

Would things have turned out better if I had worked harder? Burning everything I had for those last few nights in a row – it really doesn’t matter.

I feel like I haven’t slept since Thursday morning, working all the way through till Friday morning, catching a nap in school, working through till Saturday morning, catching a nap on the car… Really just dozing off. And having been awake all day today. I don’t feel tired at the moment. Just empty.

I’m not graduating yet, since I need to retake Com Graphics in the October Term. And my FYP grades feel like they are balancing on a thin line. Supervisor says to be “cautiously optimistic”.

I wanted to make something I could be proud of for FYP. But I feel like there’s really nothing to be proud of right now.

My gf’s Show Desktop icon was missing:

1. Open Firefox.
2. Typed in Google “windows xp show desktop”.
3. Selected “windows xp show desktop icon missing” from the auto complete.
4. Clicked the first search result.
5. Opened notepad, pasted in the script, generated my new “Show Desktop.scf” file.
6. Moved it to the Quick Launch Toolbar folder.
7. Done.

Fixed it in less than a minute. If the general PC user would learn to use Google, us tech support peeps wouldn’t have so much to do.