2AM I Did Wrong, Prologue.

Hearing it, I feel like this is the Prologue to the rest of my life. Sometimes so empty, sometimes so lost, sometimes so filled. Sometimes regret, sometimes hope, sometimes looking forward, sometimes looking back. Where am I going? What do I want to do?

Had a great time on Saturday, going for the 2AM showcase. It was awesome to see 2AM in Singapore. I would never have thought they would come here, not so soon anyway. I wish I had more opportunities to interact with them, especially Kwon. I wish I could lose the part of myself that always holds back, so I can go all out. I want to kkap in front of others too. I imagined myself kkap-ing on stage. I imagined myself saying more things to them.

But then, of course, I also imagined myself doing well for that FYP. I imagined myself driving an R8. I imagined myself driving at all. *sigh* I guess I can’t put down the fact that it’s over. I want to do it all over again. There are a lot of things I want to do all over again.

If we can’t change the past, we must mold the future. ZM has a blog post about the brick wall.

Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people.

I feel like I haven’t really wanted anything badly enough to climb over the walls for them. What did I really want to be doing again?